Categories: "Dating"

Finding a Classy Lady

Posted on Sep 26, 2023 by in Dating, Love

Another Quora Question: Where can I meet a classy woman who dresses and acts sophisticated? Someone who'd want a family and who is confident in herself.

You're asking the wrong question. Try this:

How can I be the type of person that a classy, sophisticated, confident women would be interested in?

Then take a step every day to improve yourself to be that.

Learn great table manners, all manners for that matter. Learn to dress well, Learn to dance. Learn to be gentle and kind. Learn how to be the type of person who always leaves a profit, who never complains, who sees the world as an opportunity.

If you be that, they'll show up.

My answer originally stopped there, but I got some push back from Motez Assi:

Ok David, I feel comfortable in saying I do all of those things. I disagree with you, they don't just show up. You gotta go into the world to meet people they don't show up at your door practical suggestions over life advice would be great.

Fair enough and I am realizing oh so true. We have stopped raising these women. So they become harder and harder to find. You might want to start with the wives of all your admired friends. Tell them what you want-obviously being a match for that-and ask them who they know. Go to your place of religious worship, become involved in your communities, and make a practice of asking every single woman within ten years of your age (as long as she is of legal age) out for a coffee. Get insanely curious.

Be clear about what you want. It might very clearly not be the person you asked out to coffee. Don't be bashful about that. You can have another friend helping you out in your quest to find the right person.

Also lay out in detail a vision for the life you want, house, kids religion, money, pets, time with your family, time with hers, bank account balances, retirement funds, neighborhood. Share that vision. Maybe someone will be taken by it. Maybe someone will negotiate that with you or negotiate some middle line between hers and yours.

Let people know what your mission is, and invite them to be your partners. Give the one who puts you together naming rights for your first child.

Love Your Personality

Posted on Oct 2, 2018 by in Relationships, Success, Dating
Love Your Personality

unsplash-logoMax-Jakob Beer

I've been seeing a man for 4 months. He said, “Well, I mean I like you and I love your personality.” Doesn't my personality make me who I am? What does he even mean by that?

It means he enjoys your company, but doesn't, at least at the moment, see this going the distance.

Or it means he has no balls and is not willing to commit.

If you care enough to get him out of his idiot fantasy, you might ask him, “What would true love look like to you?” I'm guessing at the bottom of it is some Hollywood sweep him off his feet fantasy. Mostly, love doesn't work that way. Even with the “being swept off your feet,” at some point it comes down to the work you put into a relationship.

I'd want to know if he's willing to give up the fantasy (look at how successful Hollywood marriages are anyway), declare that he loves you, wholly and completely, as you are and as you are not (and I'm deliberately avoiding the word feeling here), and then live and act into that declaration.

In other words, is he willing to grow up, be with the great person in front of him, and commit to creating a life with her/you?

Should I start a relationship if I know I couldn't stick with just one person forever?

Posted on Jun 8, 2017 by in Relationships, Dating

Why do you know that? How do you know that?

Maybe you should start a relationship in the pursuit of the relationship that could last forever. In other words, be responsible for constantly growing the relationship. Never settle for a person who is just nice, and maybe even great in bed. Find someone who constantly challenges you to be a better version of yourself. If you find her, you probably won’t want to leave. And if this is who you are looking for, this might just be the person you create.

Getting Back into Dating at 40

Posted on Apr 3, 2017 by in Relationships, Dating, Flirting

How does a handsome male in his 40s, who has been celibate for over 10 years, get back into dating?

I had a few abusive relationships and decided I was better off without a girlfriend in my life. Now I would like to try again. But I am so rusty and awkward with my flirting and dating skills. And I'm pretty sure being honest with a woman about my situation is a bad idea.

The best thing to do is just to start. You will make mistakes. You can’t get better if you are not in the game.

However, you also want to look at what it was about you that you found yourself in a series of abusive relationships, or at least set up some really clear red lines so that if an abusive relationship shows up again, you can end it fast. And if there is anything incomplete about those past relationships, complete that now (use this: How to Leave Your Ex Behind).

And honesty is sexy, but do not enroll people in how pathetic you have been or are. Just deal with what’s so and what you are up to, maybe like this:

“I was in a couple of bad relationships, and I gave it way too much meaning; so I checked out for a while. Now I’m back, and I’m committed to having a magical relationship. And I’m afraid I’m a little out of practice.” and then just shut up and see how she responds.

And I wouldn’t worry too much about flirting and dating skills. The best thing to hone is your listening skills. No one really listens, but everyone wants to be gotten.

Tags: Dating

Putting Time into the "Right" Woman?

Posted on Dec 12, 2016 by in Relationships, Relationships, Dating, Trust

How can a man know he is putting his time into the right woman, the woman who will not leave him?

You can't. She might get hit by a bus tomorrow, or die of cancer in three years, or just walk out because she is bored of you. Life is uncertain.

But here's the thing. If you start looking for signs she might walk out, you'll find them. Our mind is funny that way. It tries to find answers to the questions we ask. So we need to be really careful with the questions we ask. If you ask instead, “How can I love her so she will stay with me forever?” I promise you will have a lot more fun. And even someone who seemed a complete flake at the beginning might turn into the person who wouldn't leave you for anything.

And if you are ready to be that person, you can start this Wednesday at 7:00 eastern time.

Start Being the Man Women Want

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