If you want to have a great relationship, you should be able to measure how that looks; this is the part about taking stock.
You are an idiot. You dumped your girlfriend because you can't stand yourself, you wallow in self-pity, she feels for you, and because she feels for you, and you feel guilty about it, . . .
What you want to notice is how much you limit yourself and how you put yourself out there based on the stories you tell, and the rules that go with them . . .